Jesus, eggs, and the Easter bunny
I would like to first thank a woman who in response to a post I put on Facebook, asked some tough questions of not just "The" church, but of me personally. I would also like to thank all those who participated by voicing their opinion, concern, shared feelings, their own questions, and yes, even a few humorous posts.
ALL of this gets the church out of the buildings we usually keep ourselves in. And THAT is where we need to be. We need to be responding to the questions that people have.
I was not offended, upset, or really even surprised by her post. I take hers and all the other fine folks out there, questions seriously. Why? Because faith is complicated and because feeling mixed up, confused, lonely, angry, or frustrated by one's faith, or lack of it, can really make a difference in our life, affecting all our relationships, including the one with ourself and our God.
So with that said, here is as honest a feedback that I can give. Please remember I am one pastor and this is not the opinion of every pastor. Just me. :)
I, like many others, began learning about God when I was in 5th grade. I learned the stories, some theology, basic prayer (really just how to ask for things), and I learned a few good songs like "This Little Light of Mine."
I will never forget that on the day I was to be confirmed (become a member of my home church), I turned to my friend Stephanie and said, "I have no clue if Jesus is my Savior, do you???" So I went through the motions, lit the candle, some people put their hands on my head, everyone clapped, and, my parents threw a party, and I was made an official member of the church.
The fact that I had NO clue what I was doing is not surprising. I was in 8th grade. All I knew at that point was that I liked boys, hated my red frizzy hair, and loved sports.
But what is sad about that day is that I felt I HAD to go through a church ritual because everyone else, or so it seemed, thought I should. No one took me out to Friendly's and said, "How ya doing in regards to this confirmation thing? What do you think about it? Do you even really understand what you are doing? Do you want to do it?"
It was like I was trapped in the customs, traditions, and expectations of the church and these people I really cared about. And it would have been embarrassing to ask the questions I really wanted to ask. And besides, who would I have asked? This is not the fault of my home church, its really just what churches were used to.
That memory has left me realizing that we often go through the motions without revisiting why we are doing it in the first place, and the church is by far a huge culpret in this type of behavior.
So here I am at the age of 30, still questioning. And here is the truth about me: The morning I was hiding those Easter eggs around the yard I was asking myself, "Should I be doing this? Should I tell my son there is an Easter bunny? Am I, in a way, enforcing cultural activities on my son?"
Then I began thinking about my own upbringing. I began thinking about how I was shaped and formed into the person I am today, who mentored me, who taught me, and where my best memories were formed. The traditions I had with my family, are hands down, THE most treasured moments from my childhood. Included in these moments are hanging ornaments, baking cookies, wrapping gifts, finding our Easter baskets hidden under some old pillow, making Dad cut down the Christmas tree every year, coloring Easter eggs, etc. These traditions offered ways for my family to spend time together, ways for us to laugh with one another, to help one another, talk to each other, and to love each other. By starting these traditions, there was an expectation they would be done again and again. In other words, my parents would make sure there was time set apart to spend with us kids doing something that bonded us as a family. And for those moments during which we were laughing, talking, sharing, etc., we were experiencing God's love. The tradition was just the door, and through, what may seem like a silly tradition, we experienced a deep joy. A joy that to this day, I cannot explain. I STILL enjoy spending time with my family, and now with my own child, taking part in these traditions. And while we do them, we talk. We talk about God, the Bible, politics, what is going on in our lives (the hard stuff and the easy stuff). We no longer talk about my frizzy red hair, but I face much larger issues now days that I struggle with and yet through these acts of tradition (showing up at my parents to decorate Easter cookies), I am able to reconnected with my family. And my God. Because I experience God's love through my family.
But yet I struggle. I struggle with questions like, "Am I a good enough pastor? Did I just say the wrong thing to that person? Should I not take a vacation because I should be poor as a pastor? Should I not wear this outfit because someone might think the wrong thing about me? Should I pray like this or like that? Do I actually believe in hell? How do I take one part of the Bible literally, but not the rest? How can I call myself a good Christian living up here on a hill while there are people starving all over the world? Am I getting any closer to perfection?
So deep down inside, I DO feel bad for some of the things I do or some of the things I have, or for some of the things I have said. But here is where I feel like I am doing OK: In my heart, I am constantly, I mean EVERY DAY trying to mold myself through my words, my actions, and my spirit, into who God calls me to be as a pastor, a wife, a mom, a friend, and a Chritian. Do I always get it right? NOPE.
SHOULD I be hiding Easter Eggs? Maybe not. But maybe I should. My son, my husband and I experienced a morning outside, walking around our yard, laughing and taking pictures. I felt love and I do know that God is love.
After the Easter egg hunt, we headed to church. This was Grace Adventure's first Easter service. We had our church service outside, under a pavillion at a park. While our service was going on, a family wandered into it b/c their 3 year old son wanted to hear the music. I introduced myself, sat with them, and we chatted while the Grace Adventure band played away. I had a bulletin for what our service was supposed to look like, but I let go of that "order of worship" I had created and instead asked our band to just keep playing for this little boy who was enjoying it so much! So they played on... I read more scripture and then we reflected on it. I then had the band play one more song while I went around and offered a blessing on the forehead of whomever wanted it. The new family partook in the blessing. I was inspired and touched by their willingness. To close our service I asked for joys and concerns. The mom of this family began speaking and through her tears said "This is the most moving Easter experience I have ever had. Our son struggles with autism and the way you brought him into your service and the way he opened up to you...I have never seen him so open before..." About 5 of us were crying at this point. What she shared was beautiful. What happened on top of that lil ol' hill in Vestal, NY just yesterday morning on Sunday, April 24, was the most amazing Easter experience I have ever had. Maybe the exact day we celebrate Easter isn't correct. Maybe I wasn't dressed the way a pastor should be. Maybe our band was playing music others might view as wrong. But maybe, just maybe God seeped in anyways. Maybe, just maybe the love of Christ was not bound up by our humanness and he worked right around us and through us, enabling something amazing! We were celebrating the risen Christ (through traditions), and from that arose a story of healing, acceptance, new friendship, and most importantly, love.
So I struggle. Yet often I find God in the most unexpected places. Sometimes I find God through traditions. Sometimes I find God in the bar with the person who won't stop asking me questions because my friend just told them I am a pastor. Sometimes God is revealed through a touch, a word, or prayer. All I know is that if I begin to limit the ways through which I call myself a Christian or the ways through which I can experience God's love, then I am limiting God. One might not agree with all the ways I "pastor," or the places I go to "pastor," but know that everywhere I go I am always on the look out for the work of the Holy Spirit.
I believe with all my heart that most of the Bible has merit. But some is clearly and unarguably written out of historical context. And on that I stand absolutely firm. We should not stone children, we should not treat women as submissive to men, we should not do many of the things the Bible suggests, esp. in the Old Testament. But I can still learn from the stories of the people before me and I can still learn from the stories of Christians who are not authors of the Bible. As the UCC says, "God is still speaking. Don't put a period where God put a comma."
I close with an invitation for anyone who posted on today's FB comment to come to Theology on Tap next Monday at 7:00 PM at UNO's. Don't end up like I did on my Confirmation day wondering what the heck I was saying I believed when really I had no clue. Come out, talk about your questions, your hopes, your fears, your experiences. Trust me, God's love is always with you and your faith can grow to become the joy and source of strength within your life.
And, as ALWAYS, I am up for a cup of coffee with whomever wants to take me up on that!
And finally, HAPPY EASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shalom,
Pastor Annette
ALL of this gets the church out of the buildings we usually keep ourselves in. And THAT is where we need to be. We need to be responding to the questions that people have.
I was not offended, upset, or really even surprised by her post. I take hers and all the other fine folks out there, questions seriously. Why? Because faith is complicated and because feeling mixed up, confused, lonely, angry, or frustrated by one's faith, or lack of it, can really make a difference in our life, affecting all our relationships, including the one with ourself and our God.
So with that said, here is as honest a feedback that I can give. Please remember I am one pastor and this is not the opinion of every pastor. Just me. :)
I, like many others, began learning about God when I was in 5th grade. I learned the stories, some theology, basic prayer (really just how to ask for things), and I learned a few good songs like "This Little Light of Mine."
I will never forget that on the day I was to be confirmed (become a member of my home church), I turned to my friend Stephanie and said, "I have no clue if Jesus is my Savior, do you???" So I went through the motions, lit the candle, some people put their hands on my head, everyone clapped, and, my parents threw a party, and I was made an official member of the church.
The fact that I had NO clue what I was doing is not surprising. I was in 8th grade. All I knew at that point was that I liked boys, hated my red frizzy hair, and loved sports.
But what is sad about that day is that I felt I HAD to go through a church ritual because everyone else, or so it seemed, thought I should. No one took me out to Friendly's and said, "How ya doing in regards to this confirmation thing? What do you think about it? Do you even really understand what you are doing? Do you want to do it?"
It was like I was trapped in the customs, traditions, and expectations of the church and these people I really cared about. And it would have been embarrassing to ask the questions I really wanted to ask. And besides, who would I have asked? This is not the fault of my home church, its really just what churches were used to.
That memory has left me realizing that we often go through the motions without revisiting why we are doing it in the first place, and the church is by far a huge culpret in this type of behavior.
So here I am at the age of 30, still questioning. And here is the truth about me: The morning I was hiding those Easter eggs around the yard I was asking myself, "Should I be doing this? Should I tell my son there is an Easter bunny? Am I, in a way, enforcing cultural activities on my son?"
Then I began thinking about my own upbringing. I began thinking about how I was shaped and formed into the person I am today, who mentored me, who taught me, and where my best memories were formed. The traditions I had with my family, are hands down, THE most treasured moments from my childhood. Included in these moments are hanging ornaments, baking cookies, wrapping gifts, finding our Easter baskets hidden under some old pillow, making Dad cut down the Christmas tree every year, coloring Easter eggs, etc. These traditions offered ways for my family to spend time together, ways for us to laugh with one another, to help one another, talk to each other, and to love each other. By starting these traditions, there was an expectation they would be done again and again. In other words, my parents would make sure there was time set apart to spend with us kids doing something that bonded us as a family. And for those moments during which we were laughing, talking, sharing, etc., we were experiencing God's love. The tradition was just the door, and through, what may seem like a silly tradition, we experienced a deep joy. A joy that to this day, I cannot explain. I STILL enjoy spending time with my family, and now with my own child, taking part in these traditions. And while we do them, we talk. We talk about God, the Bible, politics, what is going on in our lives (the hard stuff and the easy stuff). We no longer talk about my frizzy red hair, but I face much larger issues now days that I struggle with and yet through these acts of tradition (showing up at my parents to decorate Easter cookies), I am able to reconnected with my family. And my God. Because I experience God's love through my family.
But yet I struggle. I struggle with questions like, "Am I a good enough pastor? Did I just say the wrong thing to that person? Should I not take a vacation because I should be poor as a pastor? Should I not wear this outfit because someone might think the wrong thing about me? Should I pray like this or like that? Do I actually believe in hell? How do I take one part of the Bible literally, but not the rest? How can I call myself a good Christian living up here on a hill while there are people starving all over the world? Am I getting any closer to perfection?
So deep down inside, I DO feel bad for some of the things I do or some of the things I have, or for some of the things I have said. But here is where I feel like I am doing OK: In my heart, I am constantly, I mean EVERY DAY trying to mold myself through my words, my actions, and my spirit, into who God calls me to be as a pastor, a wife, a mom, a friend, and a Chritian. Do I always get it right? NOPE.
SHOULD I be hiding Easter Eggs? Maybe not. But maybe I should. My son, my husband and I experienced a morning outside, walking around our yard, laughing and taking pictures. I felt love and I do know that God is love.
After the Easter egg hunt, we headed to church. This was Grace Adventure's first Easter service. We had our church service outside, under a pavillion at a park. While our service was going on, a family wandered into it b/c their 3 year old son wanted to hear the music. I introduced myself, sat with them, and we chatted while the Grace Adventure band played away. I had a bulletin for what our service was supposed to look like, but I let go of that "order of worship" I had created and instead asked our band to just keep playing for this little boy who was enjoying it so much! So they played on... I read more scripture and then we reflected on it. I then had the band play one more song while I went around and offered a blessing on the forehead of whomever wanted it. The new family partook in the blessing. I was inspired and touched by their willingness. To close our service I asked for joys and concerns. The mom of this family began speaking and through her tears said "This is the most moving Easter experience I have ever had. Our son struggles with autism and the way you brought him into your service and the way he opened up to you...I have never seen him so open before..." About 5 of us were crying at this point. What she shared was beautiful. What happened on top of that lil ol' hill in Vestal, NY just yesterday morning on Sunday, April 24, was the most amazing Easter experience I have ever had. Maybe the exact day we celebrate Easter isn't correct. Maybe I wasn't dressed the way a pastor should be. Maybe our band was playing music others might view as wrong. But maybe, just maybe God seeped in anyways. Maybe, just maybe the love of Christ was not bound up by our humanness and he worked right around us and through us, enabling something amazing! We were celebrating the risen Christ (through traditions), and from that arose a story of healing, acceptance, new friendship, and most importantly, love.
So I struggle. Yet often I find God in the most unexpected places. Sometimes I find God through traditions. Sometimes I find God in the bar with the person who won't stop asking me questions because my friend just told them I am a pastor. Sometimes God is revealed through a touch, a word, or prayer. All I know is that if I begin to limit the ways through which I call myself a Christian or the ways through which I can experience God's love, then I am limiting God. One might not agree with all the ways I "pastor," or the places I go to "pastor," but know that everywhere I go I am always on the look out for the work of the Holy Spirit.
I believe with all my heart that most of the Bible has merit. But some is clearly and unarguably written out of historical context. And on that I stand absolutely firm. We should not stone children, we should not treat women as submissive to men, we should not do many of the things the Bible suggests, esp. in the Old Testament. But I can still learn from the stories of the people before me and I can still learn from the stories of Christians who are not authors of the Bible. As the UCC says, "God is still speaking. Don't put a period where God put a comma."
I close with an invitation for anyone who posted on today's FB comment to come to Theology on Tap next Monday at 7:00 PM at UNO's. Don't end up like I did on my Confirmation day wondering what the heck I was saying I believed when really I had no clue. Come out, talk about your questions, your hopes, your fears, your experiences. Trust me, God's love is always with you and your faith can grow to become the joy and source of strength within your life.
And, as ALWAYS, I am up for a cup of coffee with whomever wants to take me up on that!
And finally, HAPPY EASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shalom,
Pastor Annette
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with all of us! I can identify with so much of what you voiced. I'm so excited to hear how you're helping people to experience God like the young boy at your Easter service.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading this I read the initial comments and concerns on FB While I have no personal stake as I am not affiliated with christianity nor pagan beliefs. I celebrated Easter this year with my 5 yr old with the same question and concerns as you and Heather both had.
ReplyDeleteI chose to celebrate not to bring fertility to myself nor to worship, but to have a tradition with my son that he will one day pass on as well. It was a great time held for both of us and I don't want it to ever end.
Thank you Annette for being the person that you are and the Joys that you bring to people, your story was amazing you really made a difference in there lives as I'm sure you do with many others.
Ps. I would love to go to one of your sermons next time I am in NY if you would me.
We gravitate to simple joys because the world is cold and hard. Ever since the church decided that fear was the best way to keep a flock in line (you are not good enough... you are going to hell...) the joy that we should feel about our lives has been diminished, which diminishes our spirituality. Our cultural freedoms have given rise to our increased education and to our surprise we realize the story has not yet ended. Its time for religion to step away from their own mythology. My Jesus is not superman, but a real person who truly is perfect love. Keep preachin' girl. You are one old man's hero.
ReplyDeleteHi Annette,
ReplyDeleteI love what you wrote. I think more about God being all of us and all of nature, much more than in the traditional sense of God that I grew up with. Anything that we can do as individuals or as a group to reach out and help someone, shows our own "Godliness". Just keep doing what you are doing, it's sure working! Anyway, the next time I'm down your way, I would love to check out a service and go to a Theology on Tap meeting. Your mother has assured me that you can handle my inquisitive and sometimes challenging nature at one of those meetings.
Bill