An Honest Christmas Reflection - And My Hope To Do Better

It's December 26, the day after Christmas.
And I sit here wondering...

"Did I get it right this year?"
"Did I work through the distractions & pressures, our modern retail culture puts on my family - and millions of other families around the world - and actually hold tight to what Christmas is supposed to be: a birthday celebration of Jesus Christ?" 

I think there were moments I had it right.
And then there were moments I did not.
And for the moments I didn't get it right, for the moments I strayed from a celebration of the Christ child and took on those cultural expectations, I am reminded that my faith is something that I must continually work on.  I'm a true work in progress.

Here's the truth, from my standpoint anyways...
It's REALLY HARD to not get caught up in cultural expectations - from the clothes we wear, to the presents under the tree, to the food, lights, and money spent.  Does anyone else feel that?  Does anyone else feel that its so hard that you just throw your hands up in the air and give right in - even though we are thirsting for something more meaningful than a great gift wrapped up in pretty green paper?

And what exactly would a life lived differently though Advent and on Christmas day actually look like?

I spoke with a good friend who does not do Christmas gifts for her kids.  Their Christmas morning is built around fun family traditions like making donuts, dressing in pajamas for the day, and just being with one another.  Sounds pretty different to me.  And probably more spot-on to the meaning of Christmas than my family's living room was, with the long pieces of wrapping paper (only used once to then be thrown away) candy, and new toys.  So I think about her and her husband and think "Wow, they are strong!!" - and not in a weight lifting kind of way - but holding strong to their faith and telling culture's Christmas to take a hike because their focus is each other and the gift of Jesus, not the gifts of Macy's.

So what did YOU do to try to weed through culture this year in order to stay focused on the birth of Christ?   For my family and I, we gathered friends from our apartment community to make cookies and paper chains so build relationships and trust within this small community of the greater Orlando area... and then we invited everyone to our church's Christmas Eve candlelight services- a truly beautiful service!...

...and as a family, we lit candles and had several discussions about the story of Christ's birth at our dining table, talking about how the story is SO counter-cultural it just pulls you into another dimension of living...

It's radical.
It's subversive.
It's destabilizing.
And if it isn't those things to me, I'm probably not putting myself in the sandles of those in the story.

I've realized that if Christmas is just "happy" and twinkly and about Santa Claus for me and my kids, then I'm not actually celebrating Christmas. Because the Christ Jesus who was born of a young, unwed mom - who I lift my Christmas Eve candle to- was subversive, radical, and destabilizing. THAT baby who turned into a man, did things that people of today, with our antibacterial hand cleanser and obsession with some faint "American dream," would actually cringe at. And we would turn our heads because we have somewhere else to go, something else to do, and someone else to spend time with.  And I'm such a culprit of that too, because Christianity is just plain HARD when practiced deeply, routinely, and humbly.  And Christmas reminds me that I'm not there yet. I have a lot of room to grow deeper, to gain more humility, to spend more time in the places I'm actually called to, by God, not by finances or my own self-satisfaction...
Because as difficult as it is for me to admit, the Jesus I read about in the gospels wasn't about twinkly lights, fancy restaurants, or gifts with pretty bows.  He was so much more powerful than that.  He breathed, lived, and preached these eternal truths that I have yet to live out consistently...

He was about being with the sick and then healing them.
He was about having dinner with those who are NOT wealthy, can't give anything back, and who made a lot of mistakes in their life.
He was about having less, WAY less (remember, he sent his Disciples out to do their ministry with just the sandles on their feet and were to lodge in other people's homes - "homeless"might be a good word for how he was telling them to live, gasp)

And so I sit here wondering...
Was THAT the Jesus I celebrated this Christmas? Was is THAT Jesus I followed?

And there were some moments I got it right.
But there are so many moments I could have gone deeper and told culture to take a hike.

And so I want to head into this new year, which will bring me back around to Christmas again in 364 days, with more strength to live out my faith.  And more humility towards those eternal truths Jesus talked about in his parables.
Yeah, I want more of that...
More of the good stuff, the mysterious stuff, the subversive, the radical, the destabilizing.
I don't want to just go to church, yet live like I would be if I didn't.
I want to live a gospel-rich, Christ-centered, sometimes-discomforting life that is so full of the grace that God gave me first, that by Christmas next year, I can know that my faith took on more substance.

I want the Christ child to dwell deep, my faith to resonate gospel, and for lives to be changed, including my own.

Peace to you and Merry (real) Christmas!
Annette