I Don't Know How Far She'll Go, But I Hope She Never Gives Up

About the time our adopted daughter, Jessica, is completing her final step of the 9 mile ruck sack march of The Crucible - the final "rite of passage" of Marine Corps recruit training - I'll be adjusting my goggles, staring into the morning sun, and stepping up to the starting line of my first 1/2 Ironman Triathlon (1.25 mile swim, 56 cycling, 13 running), my longest race ever.  The timing of this mother-daughter culmination of training weekend wasn't planned, but I find immense inspiration from it.  We have both been training for about 13 weeks - hers wildly more difficult than mine!! - but before she left, we made jokes about who would have more stamina afterwards.  I told her there was no doubt in my mind she would be the winner of that one. But doing my own training has, in some small way, helped me feel closer to Jessica during her own. It was empowering to know what my daughter was going through at boot camp and that she wasn't giving up and so I shouldn't either.

I share my final letter to her, which hopefully she'll receive this Friday, the day the Crucible-54 hours of almost no sleep, almost no food and demanding physical challenges - begins....

I share it because in a way, I write this to all women I know.  Don't give up on your dreams ladies. I'm not finishing my 1/2 Ironman (a dream of mine) in the time I originally wanted to.  I got injured and that sucks (to be blunt), but that doesn't mean I gave up. It means I adjusted my sails and altered the route. 

Dear Jessica,

I don't know if you'll receive this in time before the Crucible, but either way, we will be thinking of you, praying for you, and cheering you on as you endure- and pass - the final test of your Marine Corps training to be called a Marine.  I know that what you have endured, learned, and un-learned over the past 13 weeks has changed you. The lessons, the discipline, the mastering of skills, the increasing of strength, courage, honor, commitment and most of all - heart - has created a new way of being for you. And as your mom, I already bless this newness in you.  I already love the strength, both mental and physical you have earned.  My hope is that on top of undivided service of country, that you will come out with a resounding confidence to achieve your goals and dreams in life.  I know you have heard me say this a million times, but too many young women never even begin the pursuit of their dream.  They hold it inside and they don't tell anyone and surely don't take steps towards it.  They fall prey to what others want and to pleasing another instead of honoring their God-given talent and future. I hope for you- that fear of achievement - or failure- has been replaced with a zealous passion for challenges, risk-taking, and adventure.  I already tear up every time I think of the moment they call your name and call you a United States Marine. I will definitely need a tissue at graduation. Jess... your presence in our family has taught us so much. You have blessed us with your genuine, positive attitude, willingness to be a big sister, and your resilience. You have overcome more challenges than many people endure in a lifetime - and you are coming out a soldier... a leader...a woman of great stamina and strength.  THANK YOU for the honor of being there alongside you, Jessica Hamilton, as you step away from the old and into life as a dream-chasing Marine.  

I love you.

Love,
Mom